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Pediatrics

Before starting my pediatrics rotation, I had no idea if I would like peds or not. Other than going to the pediatrician as a child, I had no experience with the specialty. I had some pre-conceived notions that it would consist largely of trying to convince crazy parents to vaccinate their children. I didn't end up encountering any anti-vaxxers, and realized that every parent bringing their child to the doctor loved them very much and was trying to do what they thought was best for their child.

I started out my rotation on the newborn nursery. Having just gone through the experience myself, I connected well with patients, sharing their emotions and concerns as new parents. I loved catching brand new babies in the delivery room and helping them adjust to life outside the womb. At times I felt like I may be too emotionally connected, as I would often mirror the tears welling up in new dads' eyes.

I also got to do a lot of procedures during my week on the nursery. I did about 5 circumcisions and 1 frenotomy (cutting a "tongue tie"). That's more than I did on my entire surgery rotation! Part of the reason was that there was no intern, as there usually is. So, it was just me and the attending physician taking care of all the new babies in the hospital.

So, between the happy emotions, the adorable babies, and getting to do procedures, I had decided by the end of the nursery week that this was it! I want to be a pediatrician!! I finally figured it out.

The next week I spent in the clinic. It wasn't as fun as the nursery, but there were still cute babies, as well as cute 4 year olds, and mumbly teenagers. Lots of well visits, rashes, and musculoskeletal complaints. I learned that illnesses in pediatrics are much different than those in adults. There were no diseases of aging and lifestyle, as had composed the entirety of my outpatient internal medicine rotation.

The following week was spent on the inpatient wards. Half the ward is general pediatrics and the other half is hematology/oncology. My first morning pre-rounding I was seeing a child with lymphoma. I hadn't thought much about it before I went into see him, and hadn't prepared myself for the child I was about to see. I knocked on the door that morning to see how the night went and do a physical exam. A mousy little boy looked back at me, pale and hairless, quietly peeping answers to my questions. His mother sat by his bed, pain in her eyes, but smiling. She was perfectly healthy, but her baby was sick. These types of encounters were repeated throughout the week, and as they did on the nursery, my eyes often welled up, but these times for different reasons.

Seeing sick kids was really hard for me. So while I loved the nursery, I wondered whether I would be able to compartmentalize well enough to be a pediatrician, with all ranges of emotion. As it has been with all my rotations, I am more confused than when I started. I have no idea what kind of doctor I want to be! Next up is family medicine in Omaha, Nebraska...

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